tonight i feel extra melancholy. rasa macam nak tengok movie sedih nangis-nangis je hahaha tebiat sehh..

1 year 7 months.

tests came with a multifold of hikmah. bapak told me today that perhaps he and mader would've been elsewhere instead of where we'd been to over a month ago. perhaps if i didn't decide to leave, he wouldn't have thought of going with mader and me. and the news of travel ban yesterday perhaps made him ponder deeply into what was unknown to us previously.

as angry as i was, perhaps it was the best to leave it right there and then. despite year long of resisting, perhaps it was the right place for me to be.

changed to crappier job. too mad at myself that it pushed me to continue my study. resulting in ending my almost decade long of relationship. struggling to cope while accepting qadr. finally calmed down and rebuild myself. yet again pushed to corner and took drastic decision to leave. and here i am today. unfolding these gifts from Allah, one after another.

Alhamdulillahillazi bini'matihi tatimmussolihat

bapak perhaps muhasabah a lot and said i brought barakah (referring to our last trip). i'm not sure. i think it was not me who brought it. but rather he himself did. it was him who spent that much just to bring me over. i only tagged along. and he has never been the stingy type when it comes to spending for goodness and livelihood of his family.


now where's that sad movie i was looking for............

fuh no post at all throughout january. actually ada je menaip tapi kat wattpad sebab malas gila nak bukak laptop hikhikhik..

aduh. banyak benda nak taip tadi tapi hilang dah. ciscoscus!!

ok la bai