i used to loathe crying. back in high school, i almost didn't cry for years. almost.
hate it since people would easily noticed the fact that i just cried. eyes bulging, nose turned red.
once, i cried for the whole day. it was baaaad. sore eyes. really sore eyes.

you see. i've started working a few months ago. to be honest, i'm in love-hate relationship with my job. love the job scope, love the fact that i'm learning sort of different but still in the same field of what i studied in university. oh did i tell you i've just graduated. Alhamdulillah completed as scheduled. wait what was i saying? oh.. my job. well, the lovable part are just that. other things, well let's just say, not really fond of them. but still, hitting the fifth month now, i'm starting to get used to them. not really talking much everyday. decided not to get involved in any gossip or whatnot.

i'm in a crossroad. whether or not i should continue working after probationary period ends. like i said, i do love what i learned here but that's probably the only thing that keeps me going. hope i'm gonna sort it out soon insya Allah.

this year, i'd say, is the year i'm moving to adulthood. start off the year with ending my classes in university then began my practical training. i still do miss that place though. with the people and environment. as of now, half of us has gone, leaving the really loyal staff around. may we all meet again in jannatulfirdaus insya Allah. six months ago, i was so hesitant whether or not to continue working there. and i believe Allah is the best of planners and He sure has put me where i should be now. insya Allah, He'll keep on showing me the way, well in His on way, of where should i go after this.

i'd be lying if i say i don't miss university life. i really really do miss it. i miss it so much i'd rather take another degree. yes, that far. however, after knocking some senses into my head, i realized that it's already time to move on. miss the free time i had, miss my classmates, miss the fact that i don't have to put up a face when i meet the people around, miss the fact that i could go to talk whenever or wherever i wanted to, miss my carefree self, oh the list won't stop i guess?

the year ended with somewhat one blissful journey Allah has blessed me with. answering His call, who wouldn't want to? i believe He has blessed me with rizq to make the journey at such young age. indeed, it was a trip like no other. i still suffer from jet lag though. haha. a year back when my parents brought it up, i was somewhat hesitant. many things came up to my mind. i guess that's the Him pre-calling me to make the journey. days, months went on and when my parents really registered our seat, i was like, this is it. this is so it man. hahaha. whaaaaat -.-". it was probably one of the most "capitalist-support" trip but it didn't change the whole point of it. i'm back safe and sound now Alhamdulillah and missing it so much. hoping He will call for me again soon :)

so that's one-year long summary. new year will come soon insya Allah. probably major changes will happen. hopefully.

wassalam.

Alhamdulillah. selamat pergi dan kembali. apa yang terjadi cuma Tuhan saje yang tahu. segala puji untuk Allah dan Dia sahaja yang selayaknya dipuji.

satu je harapan aku. istiqomah untuk terus amalkan apa yang aku cuba praktikkan dalam sepuluh hari lepas. aku anggap macam ramadhan lah. permulaan untuk sesuatu yang baru.

dan ini, untuk rutin harian lama yang baru. biidznillah.

:)

aku tak tau kalau najib boleh hidup senang hati. sebagai seorang pengurus kewangan pembinaan kecil-kecilan dan masih sangat baru, nak tolong bahagikan duit orang sebenarnya bukan senang. i mean, secara teknikalnya senang jer. tambah tolak darab bahagi susun susun sikit, dah siap.

TAPI

bila aku fikir panjang sikit, berat wooo nak atur duit orang. kita tak pegang pun duit tu, kita cuma diamanahkan untuk kata ya ke tak patut orang dapat duit orang lain. gitewww. dalam 3 bulan rasanya ada sekali yang aku memang betul-betul nak putus urat. putus urat kecil-kecilan dah banyak kali. tapi tu pun atas kesalahan aku sendiri la. haha.

jadi berbalik kepada najib yang diamanahkan untuk mengagihkan wang yang bukan miliknya, yang mampu menggugat atau menguntungkan kehidupan berjuta (eh ke billion ha penduduk malaysia?) orang yang lain, kalau sebenar benarnya dia menjalankan amanah yg dipertanggungjawabkan pada dia (hanya Allah yang tahu), aku tak rasa dia boleh balik rumah dah bersenang lenang di atas tilam empuk sentiasa.

beratnya amanah tu, Tuhan saje yang tahu.


sebenarnya aku baru tahu PM adalah menteri kewangan ehek ehek ehek ehek kbaiiii

aku sungguh amat sangat merindukan saat-saat aktif menaip di blogosphere.
apakan daya, balik rumah dengan 20% baki kudrat, serta tahap kemalasan yang nauzubillah, aku terpaksa meninggalkan ini semuaaaa. huahuahua. aku sedih! aku sedih!

banyak benda aku nak taip. tapi cukuplah dengan aku katakan i'm doing fine. i'm really thankful to Allah Ta'ala for guiding me through the way and blessed me with peace and serenity.

dah masuk 3 bulan. emosi dah mula stabil. takde la tiap malam balik rasa nak maki je (kadang-kadang tu ermm hihihi). dah takde asyik nak counting days nak berhenti (oh that countless time i almost cried). bagi aku tahun 2014 adalah tahun yang sedikit pelik sebab untuk julung kalinya orang duk bertanya "umur berapa?"

kali terakhir orang tanya aku rasa aku jawab 15. tiba-tiba dah *ehem*.

jadi untuk 2014 yang membawa aku ke fasa baru ini, aku cuma harap keberkatan dan keredhaan Allah je untuk sepanjang saat aku keluar mencari rezeki. sungguh aku tak tipu aku rindukan zaman belajar dan zaman praktikal. tapi dah sampai masa untuk aku mengorak langkah lebih jauh. dah sampai masa untuk aku melangkah ke fasa seterusnya. dah sampai masa untuk aku berdiri gagah sendiri!

*berdiri pegang obor atas bukit*

aicehcehcehceh.

dah la. aku nak berangan ni. besok nak kembali ke rutin harian. dan sesungguhnya aku tak sabar nak melunaskan perancangan minggu akan datang. biidznillah.