i used to loathe crying. back in high school, i almost didn't cry for years. almost.
hate it since people would easily noticed the fact that i just cried. eyes bulging, nose turned red.
once, i cried for the whole day. it was baaaad. sore eyes. really sore eyes.

you see. i've started working a few months ago. to be honest, i'm in love-hate relationship with my job. love the job scope, love the fact that i'm learning sort of different but still in the same field of what i studied in university. oh did i tell you i've just graduated. Alhamdulillah completed as scheduled. wait what was i saying? oh.. my job. well, the lovable part are just that. other things, well let's just say, not really fond of them. but still, hitting the fifth month now, i'm starting to get used to them. not really talking much everyday. decided not to get involved in any gossip or whatnot.

i'm in a crossroad. whether or not i should continue working after probationary period ends. like i said, i do love what i learned here but that's probably the only thing that keeps me going. hope i'm gonna sort it out soon insya Allah.

this year, i'd say, is the year i'm moving to adulthood. start off the year with ending my classes in university then began my practical training. i still do miss that place though. with the people and environment. as of now, half of us has gone, leaving the really loyal staff around. may we all meet again in jannatulfirdaus insya Allah. six months ago, i was so hesitant whether or not to continue working there. and i believe Allah is the best of planners and He sure has put me where i should be now. insya Allah, He'll keep on showing me the way, well in His on way, of where should i go after this.

i'd be lying if i say i don't miss university life. i really really do miss it. i miss it so much i'd rather take another degree. yes, that far. however, after knocking some senses into my head, i realized that it's already time to move on. miss the free time i had, miss my classmates, miss the fact that i don't have to put up a face when i meet the people around, miss the fact that i could go to talk whenever or wherever i wanted to, miss my carefree self, oh the list won't stop i guess?

the year ended with somewhat one blissful journey Allah has blessed me with. answering His call, who wouldn't want to? i believe He has blessed me with rizq to make the journey at such young age. indeed, it was a trip like no other. i still suffer from jet lag though. haha. a year back when my parents brought it up, i was somewhat hesitant. many things came up to my mind. i guess that's the Him pre-calling me to make the journey. days, months went on and when my parents really registered our seat, i was like, this is it. this is so it man. hahaha. whaaaaat -.-". it was probably one of the most "capitalist-support" trip but it didn't change the whole point of it. i'm back safe and sound now Alhamdulillah and missing it so much. hoping He will call for me again soon :)

so that's one-year long summary. new year will come soon insya Allah. probably major changes will happen. hopefully.

wassalam.