i'm not sure what this is.
i've been reminded of death several times lately. the biggest news happened on the same day i got to meet partner. the person i haven't seen in 13 months.
it's like, i'm happy i finally got the chance to meet partner, although it was just brief. so brief we only got to eat and talk for a very short while. of which i (mostly) scolded him for...nothing.
and a few hours later, i received one of the most shocking news. a friend of mine passed away that very same day. you know... i've lost a friend before. back during high school. i can feel the sadness.
but this time around,
i can't say i'm sad.
i can't feel it,
in fact, i can't feel a thing,
i'm ... numb...
i want to cry but tears aren't flowing.

Allah has given you the opportunity to be the best daughter, wife and almost a mother.
may Allah bless your soul. you were a dear friend to me.

Allahumma firlahu warhamhu wa'afihi wa'fu'anhu