i envy my peers who had the opportunity to travel the world, explore the nature, enjoy a lot of time with friends and whatnot. i really do. tipulah kalau aku kata aku tak teringin jugak.
but learning about priorities and measuring shirt at my own body (ukur baju di badan sendiri kehkehkeh), aku tau aku tak boleh nak suka hati pergi. i have to consider mak and pak (well considering now that i can gain a lot of pahala by treating them well enough and they are still the ones who bears my sins and responsible of me) and my own finances. yelah. tak keje lagi. segan lah nak mintak duit mak bapak. cukuplah diorang dah sponser trip melbeng tahun lepas dengan bayar yuran serta tanggung makan minum aku dari kecik. i'm more than grateful for that Alhamdulillah..

i know that Allah is the Most Fair. i believe it with all my heart soul. hence, i may have not been able to explore as much as my peers but if i pray good and as much, i believe He'll replace the joy i missed with something better biiznillah. and for now until forever when i see joy of exploring i missed, i'll keep on praying that He will guide me to do other stuff that will improve myself and gain my reward hence increase my rank in jannah. like, well, i don't know lah. i mean, some people had to leave all the fun dunya stuff in order to nurse their parents. some had to let go of big dunya reward considering they had to take care of their child. masya Allah.. they must've special place in jannah, no?

so all you guys out there who are in somewhat similar shoes with me, don't fret. yes it's true that you'll learn much more when you go out and set yourself free. however some things just happen beyond our control no matter how much we try to get over it. let's keep on praying that someday, some better days, Allah will let us get the same kind of experience when the right time comes. in this world or hereafter insya Allah.

earlier today i read sheikh waleed's post on investing for yourself in term of reading, skills, trvelling and whatnot.
so, after few days of lazing around at home, ehem, bismillahirrohmanirrohim, i'm going to (finally!!) plan my life. hehe. i know it's a bit too late (or still early for some other..kot?). i still have no idea what it's gonna be. in my mind, i have plenty things to be accomplished in few years time insya Allah. but i need a lot of courage and strong motives to do so. i still don't have a solid plan though. and still ponder upon the few things i'm gonna have to let go.

may Allah guide.

tadi jumpa dengan jaja.
akhirnya. selepas 2 tahun lebih. rindu betul waktu-waktu pasum dulu. sekarang dah bawak haluan masing-masing. paling mengejutkan masa dia cerita nak tunang dulu! fuh. perasaan dia macam break up. wakakaa. ni aku baca kat twitter haritu. ape ntah. tapi ye betul jugak. dah jadi tanggungjawab orang lain, hak orang lain, feeling pun dah lain. tak sangka betul. last aku jumpa dulu, dia baru nak kenal dengan laki dia. next time jumpa dah beranak ke kan. amiiinnnn. walaupun awkward sikit keluar bertiga sebab biasanya berdua... huhuhu.

masing-masing pun dah berubah. lebih matang kot. entahlah. yang pastinya, aku masih belum bersedia nak dengar lawak orang kahwin. dia macam ... krikkrikkrik... kat rumah pun kena dengar lawak orang kahwin. ohmaiiiii.
i'm happy seeing you happy. may Allah bless your marriage till jannah :)