around four years ago i was in a deep mess. it was a messy cycle happened again and again and keep on happening. i was lost. i couldn't tell what was really wrong but i know that something wasn't right. Yasmin Mogahed was about to get famous at that time. i read few of her posts and quite touched with the views she's trying to put her readers into. one fine evening, i simply click the play button of one her podcasts. Masya Allah it was by the mercy of Allah that He let me stumble across such beautiful lecture. something i actually needed at that time. but i did not hear it until the end. run out of focus towards the end.

and tonight i was looking for the lecture just to remind myself of what was one of the turning point in my life before. subhanallah I'm truly blessed to be able to hear it till the end tonight. who knows that the ending part is really what i needed now. same lecture different part.

i'm currently going through the same mess again. different situation but similar to the previous one.
and that this is actually a healing process rather than a punishment (i hope).
that the heart hurts for being attached to worldly affairs.
that it is learning to attach itself to what matters the most.
that i shall stop seeing the creation and see Allah instead.
that this process will happen over and over again.

2016...insya Allah i'll be focusing on shifting my focus towards the right one..

biidznillah.