i don't remember what was on my mind a year ago. but i was either feeling anxious or thankful.

it's been 2 months. new daily routine. a fixed one, again. less resentment, more accepting. i've probably unconsciously aged more than i thought. haha. Alhamdulillah. so far so good. it's enough if i could be thankful and only prioritize God with every steps that i take.

sedar atau tak, Tuhan dah makbulkan doa-doa aku yang terucap dan tersimpan. dengan hikmah-hikmah manis yang tersembunyi dan nyata.

Allahuakbar.

on the side note, boleh tahan banyak jugak kawan-kawan nak kawin dalam masa terdekat ni. yang baru kahwin pun ramai. hihu. i'm happy for every single one of you :) . termasuklah crush-crush lama yang tak pernah kesampaian hahahahaha. honestly, it feels like a closure hearing the news. mula-mula memang la rasa ala-ala patah hati gichewww hahahaha. but after a moment of telling yourself that no no not my rezeki then it's all good. hehehehe.

entah mana aku baca. rasa macam dari ig ku rina. ke blog dia. saying that, being a muslim doesn't mean that you have to deny that you're feeling sad and hopeless. but it is about directing that feelings towards the right way. yes you're sad. yes you're mad. yes you so hope that it doesn't happen. accept that. accept the fact that you're a human with feelings. accept that feelings you're denying. because if you're not feeling it, what are you moving on from?

on unrelated note (maybe), i have imagined it for quite some time now. i guess that if i were to live the rest of my life not married, i'd accept that. i mean, how will living in denial benefit me anyway. i've had my fair share in life. Allah has and will bless me with so much i could never finish counting my blessings. of course at times i'd get lonely. but i'll just have to accept it anyway. accepting the fact that i might not have a shoulder to hold on to. or the fact that i'd grow old without ever feeling my own child massaging my back. or that i might be staring at families when they have their day out, thinking that ahh what a happy scene. as for now, i'm just thankful for the chance of spending my days with my parents while they are still living.