my head is about to explode from absorbing these much information. i'm not sure whether i'm able to make it but praying that Allah will make it ease. skarang baru nak doa kan!!! huhuhu..

anyway replacement class sabtu lepas (semalam ha ha rasa macam dah lama sangat kan sebab baca tak benti huahuahuaaaaa). so i had lunch with my 2 classmates both 4 and 5 years younger than me huahuahuaaaa hakak memang rasa muda je uollsss!! one china one ya local armpunk gurl. talking to that china dude has always been refreshing. i mean, he's a fresh grad and he does look so fresh!! hahaha.. he remind me of my guy classmates when were that age & phase. still fresh still innocent still have the will to get to know people around still eager to explore the world still felt that we could change the world easily!! hahaha.. lepastu otw balik kelas tiberr sebut "kaka kaka kakak" . ye dikkk memang akak ni kakak dikkk. hahaha.. selalunya deyolss dakdak china ni guna google trasnlate nak communicate. sian pun ada jugak dalam kelas ngajor dalam english kan. tapi tu lah nak buat camne. negara orang bahasa orang kan kena la redha miscommunication huhuhu...

lepas kakak, abang. lepastu adik. mama. bapak. monotonous gituh hahaha..

ahh.. i feel old. they always make me realise how old i actually am. walaupun mereka sering menyalah anggap ai ni umur-umur deyols jua.. hahaha.. ye dikk hakak ni nampak je muda tapi jiwa tu ada kertu sikit :P

i've deactivate socmed to focus on my write up. seems that i forgot to remove blog to. hahaha.. oh wel..

banyak gila benda nak rant kat sini. but i choose only one. hahaha..

tonight kita cakap pasal jodoh. kahwin. couple. ah semua benda tu lah!

you see, menuju penghujung 20an tak seindah khabar. actually tak pernah dengar yang indah pun haha. bila kau dah mula masuk umur menghampiri 30an, tiba-tiba segala kawan/saudara/keluarga sekeliling pinggang kau mula usaha carikan calon untuk kau. i am not sure if everyone is also going through the same phase with me atau memang Tuhan letakkan time aku sekarang ni untuk berada di fasa ini. i mean, you know what i mean i know what you mean you know........ all these while i'm still with him, no such thing ever happened! sepertinya Tuhan memelihara saya begitu rupa ya...

ah just sharing some that i remember. sorang member nak offer member dia duda anak dua la. lepastu marketkan ustaz hensem la. lepastu pakcik terus cakap "ha ada kawan-kawan yang kosong lagi tak" kat asben sepupu yang sebaya aku. also one time, a friend, out of sudden wassep gua "kau nak kawen takk nak berkenalan dengan orang takkk" like whattttttttttt. hahahaha. seriusli tak pernah langsung la sebelum tahun ni! while i enjoy it with a good laugh, i'm honestly not ready yet. biarlah hati ini terbuka bila yang lalu benar-benar berlalu. aiceh...

people around me are more anxious about me not getting married yet. i've come to term with myself that marriage will happen when Allah wills. seriusli it's only april tapi sedara/kawan cakap pasal nak kunun kenalkan ni meningkat pula ya. tak tau nak rasa apa. hahaha..

to each that come, buat aku akan terfikir. jenis overthinking kan. hahaha.. contohnya bila kawan aku cakap pasal member duda anak dua, terfikir la aku eee boleh ke aku ni ada anak ekspress. n the anser is of course a definite no. haha.. n then bila member tiba-tiba wassep nak kenalkan orang, aku jadi terfikir ee serius ke ni siapa la ni eee dia pernah jumpa aku ke. lepastu bila member marketkan ustaz, menerawang jadiknya aku stalk dan fikir eee takleh ngam la dengan orang macam ni macam bakal banyak kena berkorban perasaan je plus macam dunia berbeza sangat. oh mengggg.. menuju 30 ni nak tak nak memang kita semua dah ada baggage masing-masing..

in less than 6 months, some have called me giving all these comments for being choosy. yang main anggapkan tak kahwin sebab memilih pun iye. tell me whether finding righteous spouse and being clicked/ngam is being choosy? the person called me being choosy also used to tuntut fasakh but failed n currently always shared posts about her cheating husband. errrr.... i think u understand it more than anyone that being this kind of choosy isn't a bad idea?

i don't need to justify this but i honestly am fine being single now..

i'm not in a rush to get into another relationship. biarlah jodoh datang pada masa yang sesuai.

yang lebih penting, moga hubungan kita dengan Tuhan lebih dekat & baik. yang ni lagi penting kot daripada fikir jodoh huhuhu...

buttt.. i'm enjoying this phase while it lasts!! :)

i have a confession.

today i lose my starbucksginity. kikikikikiiii...

tak tak bukan first time minum stabak. tapi first time duk cari stabak sebab nak wifi nak buat keje huahuahuaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. aku selalu la fikir eeee ape la nak buat kerja kat stabak kan boleh je nak buat kat rumah ke ofis ke kat uni masing-masing mesti ada tempat untuk buat kerja. but todeiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hahahahahahaha!! well it's sunday. library closed earlier. the common area will also be quite sunyi. i can't focus at home since my personal space will only be available in about one week time. but i reaaaallyyyyy need to get some materials at least bergerak la sikit kerja aku huhuhuhu. after some thought (thinking really hard okay :3), i went out to find one!! hahaha!! man, stabakginity did cost me about 3 days of lunch. i did have my good one hour focus Alhamdulillah. manage to get a tiny space at the corner of the shop. man that's like a jackpot to me huhu. i'll never view coffee shops the same again after this.....

but still!! aku tetap tak setuju bab student study in mcd. study kot. it's group discussion. and fulltime student kot. at the very least, u have library. kedai kopi-kopi is like designed for business meeting & temporary personal workspace. not really for group work discussion... open space is more likely.

well that's my losing starbucksginity story.. which cost me a good RM17.80 *lap peluh*

i didn't went for the feeling of it. i really just need a personal space for a short while. huhuhu

next to me was a table of three. i sure didn't mean to eavesdrop but the volume and story, mannnn.. i can't help it. hihuhihuhihu

hmm. ape benda la aku nak merepek ni.

banyak je benda yang aku nak merepek ni tapi tu lah.. tu lah tuu.. huhuhu

anyway mari kita mulakan dengan betapa charming nya park bo gum nyiahahahahaha!! last time aku tengok love in the moonlight takde la nampak dia ni hensem mana tpai baru-baru ni tiba-tibaaaa la kannnnn.. tiba-tiba sangat dia hensem. hahahaha. boy. am back to crazying over k-celebs. it's been about 10 years i think. semenjak start asasi dan kemudian jumpa partner, aku langsung stop gilakan kureaaaaaaa. about time before hallyu wave infected people around me. seingat aku, running man la yang berjaya menambat hati orang-orang yang kutuk kpop. hahahaha. well.. maybe i was a little busy with life and i finally had someone real i could called as partner. kpop ni dulu sekadar mengisi kekosongan yang tak kosong agichewwww...

butttttttttttttt. since the space if getting empty again i guess that's the reason why i'm starting to go krezi over k-celebs again. hahaha. nampak dah pattern tu kan. layan je lah. but at 27/8, aku dah tak boleh nak layan k-celebs macam dulu-dulu. i'm going krezi but i got limit now. i mean, i used to go crazy over cute kpoppers in youtube and berangan them being my boyfriend (sedar diri berangan ok jgn risau) and so so so want to know about their daily life & want to meet them. but now even park bogum yang charming ni, i like seeing him smile (charming takleh argue hahahaha) but as much as i love it, i only view it as his work. and he has his own life outside of this. mungkin sebab aku pun dah bekerja sekarang maka aku dah boleh emphatize dengan perbezaan kerja dan kehidupan. mungkin jugak sebab kematangan atau puberty hits me like a truck gituh kata anak-anak tuiterrr. man.. working really changed me. hahaha.

well park bo gum / bogummy.. i wish you a successful career. and as much as i'd love to see you being a successful celebrity, i wish that you're healthy and happy with your life.. don't sacrifice your life for your job.. it's not worth it. your own life is more precious... i hope you're going to meet a nice girl who is going to be your partner through good times & bad times..

this goes without saying to all k-celebs.. i enjoy your performance but please don't throw your life away... sedih senanye tengok celebs umur dah 40++ single and selalu cakap pasal lonely tak berteman. that's why i hope that bogummy will meet someone nice that suit him.. entertainment industry can be really harsh especially some of them are being exploited. contoh kes dbsk dulu la. diorang sign up time budak-budak, dapat offer macam wow, lepastu bukan orang senang-senang lak tuh. so it's like stepping on gold mine lah kan. but too bad they were being exploited in such a way... mungkin sebab ni aku macam dah tak mampu nak fangirling sangat macam dulu. see.. me fangirling now is so much different than before. i view them as human and worker before celebrities. i guess working has taught me at least this much.

wow cakap pasal k-celeb je dah berapa perenggan haha. anyway bercakap tentang emphatizing bogummy, ada sesuatu yang menjentik hatikuhhh baru-baru ini. i saw my friends tweeted about not signing up for gomen & other job searching site. and then i realised that if my life hadn't happen like how it happened for the past 3 years, mungkin aku juga tergolong sama dengan kawan-kawanku itu huhuhu. i think, this journey has build me some empathy towards those who didn't have it easy in some aspects of their life. aku nak elaborate tapi macam malas haha banyak sangat dah cakap kat atas tadi.

for now, i'm taking life as it is. belajar untuk redha dengan ketentuan Illahi. belajar untuk sabar dengan perkara-perkara yang aku takkan mampu ubah sendiri. belajar untuk meletakkan Tuhan di atas segalanya.

anyway, i have an interesting classmate. actually tak la interesting mana tapi dia mengingatkan aku pada diri aku yang carefree pada suatu masa dahulu. zaman degree yang penuh lucu-lucu. tak tau la berapa umur dia but i'm guessing at least 3-4 years younger. at least okay. could be more haha mujur theyolls sering tersalah sangka ai sebaya-sebaya theyolls juaa :P . well it's going to end soon so i'm just enjoying my time as much as i could. moga Allah redha.