Monday, July 28, 2014

changed routine

kalau ikutkan waktu-waktu macam ni sedulunya aku tengah baring keletihan. sambil pikir macam mana nak cuci baju sambil tu bawak baju bersih nak bawak pegi next kampung.
takpun tengah beraya kat rumah embah yang dekat dengan rumah embah aku.
takpun tengah makan besar bersama keluarga. lepas tu sembang tah hape benda dengan sepupu sepapat.
lepas tu esok travel travel travel dan travel lagi. sampai hujung minggu.
biasanya jugak, aku tengah sakit perut sebab makan nauzubillah...
sebabnya waktu siang macam tadi pergi sekurang-kurangnya 6 rumah.
dengan family pakcik makcik.
dan family aku.

malam raya semalam sedulunya aku main bunga api sambil tengok orang main mercun.
pastu tunggu turn gosok gosok baju. eh tak, berebut lah. ehek ehek ehek.
pastu sembang tah hape hape benda dengan sepupu sepapat.
biasanya geng jejantan yang banyak buat keje cenggini.
takpun kalau kat rumah embah, aku tengah makan. takpun basuh pinggan. takpun isi kuih.
wow sifat keperempuanan terserlah di rumah embah rupanya. baru sedar. ehek ehek ehek.

dan sekarang, malam raya lebih kepada duduk bertenang di depan tv sambil dengar bunyi mercun yang jarang-jarang di pinggir bandar.
dan hanya mampu tawaf 3 buah rumah di siang hari.
daripada sempit berempat di belakang, kini lapang berseorang.
daripada bapak mengejar nak menghabiskan tawaf ke rumah sedara mara yang jauh-jauh sekali, kini hanya pergi mana yang terdekat.
daripada hanya menggosok baju di malam raya, kini aku dah bertanggungjawab uruskan hal ketupat.
the table has turned.
orang tua dan muda yang baru.

still blessed. Alhamdulillah.

Friday, July 25, 2014

sebenarnya aku dah selalu bukak blogger.com ni nak menaip. bila tengah tweet, ade jek benda nak taip pepanjang. dah bukak elok macam ni terus hilang. mungkin aku perlukan template blogger yang lama, sebelum google ambil alih. ehe ehe ehe ehe ehe.

tiada apa yang vavavoom dengan hidup aku sekarang. sahur, tidur, hot in cleveland sampai ngantuk, tidur, kupas bawang, makan, solat terawikh, repeat. konon la malas nak start keje awal-awal sebab nak tumpu pada ibadah dan ibu bapa. tengok rutin aku tu tengok. sebenarnya nak keje apa pun aku tak tau. tu pasal yang duk melanguk je ni. hahaha. baru semalam cubaan hantar resume. aku pun tak tau rezeki macam mana akan datang nanti. cuma aku nak live in the moment je sekarang. mensyukuri waktu lapang walau menganggur dan masih tiada hala tuju. aku rilek jer percaya rezeki dari Allah, sampai masa nanti dia sampai la. aku rasa orang keliling yang lebih risau. erm. hehe. feeling loved.

dan 3 minggu ni aku menggomol bayi je. dan budak busuk. dulu mula-mula rasa sunyi jugak. tapi aku rasa mereka pun gembira sebab ada orang yang free macam aku untuk tolong gomolkan bayi-bayi mereka. wakakaka. ikutkan hati nak je aku sambung belajar ambik degree lagi tapi bidang lain. pikir-pikir balik, itu semuaaaaa mahu duit. ilmu dan wang. wang dan ilmu. takpe lah. aku tambah ilmu cara lain je.

so...itu je lah cerita yang aku boleh cerita sekarang.

Sunday, June 22, 2014

love love me doo
you know i love youu
i'll always be with youuu
so pleaaseee pleaasee pleaseee please
love me doooo oo oo oo ooo


tengah goyang-goyang nyanyi tetibe terbaca

"salam & hye. our friend (name) is currently warded at wad ICU ........"


pause youtube.
diam.
tutup youtube.

Friday, June 20, 2014

16 : yui - my generation
17 : sweet 17
18-20 : i think there was this song that i totally forgotten about now
21 : forever 21
22 : taylor swift - 22
23 : blink 182 - what's my age again?


yezzaaahhh!
my taste in music is mostly influenced by bapak and abang-abang hence the scorpions, the beatles, rhcp, greenday, blink 182 and the list goes on. after puberty, i somehow fell for jpop and kpop, probably caused i watched the drama. the songs weren't that great but they look pretty cute (back then of course). but it soon vanish after i entered foundation. thank goodness i got over it. i don't ever want to be that hippie girl macam takde pedoman. haha. i do not know how i got over it but i really wish all these kpop lovers do too.

so, for a little while, i've been abandoning the habit of listening to music. once in a while i did but it's just for a few hours then i'm done. i'm learning to detach myself from lagha music :3

however, few weeks back, one of my office mates requested for me to download a few songs for him. so i did. and i started to listen to the songs requested. and damn it, i'm hooked! somewhat old songs that i used to love, and still do! then, another practical student like me started to push me to listen to muse. i, for one, listen to songs but not the band. i mean, some bands produce a lot of great songs over and over again while some others manage to make it to one hit wonder list. and i don't really care which band you're from as long as your songs caught me up. so he started to turn up the volume for starlight and time is running out.

and now my youtube is playing blink 182.
dammit puberty. you caught me up again.


so, i failed.
i miss going to talks and gathering with my friends. talking about both worldly and hereafter matters.

i just feel like saying it.

Thursday, June 19, 2014

Ramadhan is fast approaching. which also means the title i'm holding right now is almost up.
right now, i'm learning to put my trust in Allah, for matters i've never faced before. realizing how fast time moves.
i'm out of time.
Allahu.