aku dah cerita dengan detail kat wattpad. rasa malas nak repeat kat sini. tapi memandangkan aku masih boleh describe keadaan & perasaan aku, aku yakin la sebenarnya keadaan aku sekarang tak ada apa pun. kalau ada apa-apa, biasanya aku nak cakap pun tak mampu. senyum. dan berlalu gitu je lah.
Tuhan cuma tengah nak betulkan jiwa & emosi aku je. dan aku amat-amat bersyukur bila fikir sayangnya Tuhan pada aku. tak pernah tinggalkan aku sesat & lalai macam tu je. moga-moga tetap disayangi Tuhan sampai akhir hayat...
pagi tadi macam biasa la drive kereta pegi kerja. semenjak jiwa kacau ni aku malas nak dengar radio pagi-pagi. just me & my thought agiichewww.
the past weeks have been nothing but love. no, it isn't the romantic, going on a date kind of love. it's the love that's so far, far greater than that. incomparable. the love by The One who owns it. and us.
despite my crappy self in the interview, my little fingernail, sore throat, more disliking my employer & soon-to-be-rejected offer, i'm feeling more & more at peace.
aku dah cuba sehabis baik. setakat yang aku mampu fikir. i walk around the room looking for the way out. only to find dead ends, each and every time. more & more dead ends.
and today i realized that they weren't dead ends. it's dark. but it's not the end. when i decided to walk further, i only find that each path only leads back to one road. towards Rabb, The One.
the door is open, it will stay open, until i pass through it.
the door is closed. no matter how hard i try to open it. it will never open.
i'm still in my healing process. it's going to take some time. even if i may have to sacrifice my wish. if the path leads me to Allah, i'm more than happy to do it.
today it also hit me. dulu-dulu aku selalu la baca penulis cerita yang tulis cerita macam-macam. menarik. as if penulis tu dah melalui macam-macam hal & jumpa macam-macam orang dalam hidup ni.
then i realised that i too am probably doing the same thing. sebabkan kerja, aku jumpa wanita bertudung merokok, duk dalam culture kerja berbeza-beza, tengok orang mabuk-mabuk lol, jumpa ofismate perangai pelik. macam-macam jugak la hahaha.
maybe i'm gonna be a storyteller too someday. a girl can dream right? hahaha...
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